Humble Pie!
Humble Pie!

August 09, 2010

Dear Friends

How unfortunate that so soon after returning from our holiday (albeit a blighted one) I should slip back so readily into my unfortunate habit of ‘putting my foot in it’.

That the aged stalwart of a church cooker at St Cliff’s should choose the week of our absence to finally give up the ghost was quite unhelpful particularly not least in that tomorrow sees the commencement of our annual holiday club.

This week-long invasion of overly exuberant children has its chief selling point in the daily provision of a hot lunch which we generously serve for free (a hard fought battle in this respect having been won along the way with our less-than-faith-filled treasurer).
Whilst some have accused us of flagrantly enticing ‘clientele’ away from the holiday clubs that other churches have laid on within the town I would humbly refute the charge. I rest easy in the knowledge that sheep will always graze on the pasture that is greenest?

With the urgency of a resolve in respect of the sadly defunct cooker utmost in my mind it seemed almost too good to be true that, as this morning’s congregation eased their way through the cramped confines of St Cliff’s entrance, I should overhear a visitor to our fair parish identify himself as a gas fitter.
In that time was of the essence I felt it acceptable to interrupt the flow of conversation and commandeer the gentleman’s services immediately.

Ignoring his protests that I had got the wrong man (believing it to be just a spot of self deprecation on his part) I whisked him off to the kitchen. Leaving him there to make an initial assessment of whether, like Lazarus, the failed apparatus could be brought back from the dead, I headed off to the church office to hunt down a requisition order in the hope of getting the job done before he left the premises.

On my return I was somewhat surprised to find that the said tradesman had not lifted so much as a finger. I can only consider it a blessing indeed that I did not launch forth into a diatribe about what I considered the oft laissez faire attitude of many tradesmen nowadays.

As I drew breath to vent my spleen the gracious gentleman seized the moment and said that he thought that there had been a bit of a misunderstanding. He explained that he was in fact not a gas fitter by profession but rather a gastroenterologist at the local hospital.

This embarrassing saga was only made worse by the uneasy feeling I have that he was in the throes of accepting an invitation to our autumn Alpha course when I apprehended him.

To my chagrin I will now need to break it to our Alpha representative the faux pas I have committed. Not only is there every likelihood that will I be eating eating humble pie for some considerable time but the way things stand with the cooker there is every chance that it will also now be cold.

Onward and upward

Derek