June 21, 2010

Dear Friends

Though I do say so myself our fish suppers at St Cliff’s take some beating (or should I say ‘battering’?) and what a joy it was that all but twenty souls with a penchant for Britain’s finest fare should grace us with their presence on the occasion of this week’s ever-popular Food ‘n’ Fellowship evening.

What I did not realise that was that our regular purveyors of fish and chips were unable to fulfill their monthly order (an ‘off’ jumbo sausage having unfortunately contaminated their prized batter) and that St Cliff’s Catering Committee therefore had little choice but to make an executive decision and to give our considerable business to their only rivals in the town.

That until now we have boycotted the somewhat inappropriately named, ‘The Piece of Cod’ will not surprise you but on this occasion it was a case of any port in a storm and expediency won the day.

The warmth of the evening necessitated the opening of windows which made the surreptitious disposal of the less-than-satisfactory fish suppers all too easy for our guests.

It was not until the next day that I discovered that the grounds of St Cliff’s were not only littered with numerous half-eaten cod portions but also an equal quantity of salivating cats.
I now think that I was perhaps a little hasty in purchasing something which I thought would ‘do the job’ of ridding the church’s hallowed precincts of this unexpected feline plague.

It would appear that I misunderstood the nature of the product to hand and having sprinkled it liberally around the confines of St Cliff’s I was rather troubled to discover that the invasion of cats had significantly increased in number and not diminished as I had hoped.

I now find that ‘Go-Cat’ is in fact a food product and not something to send the pesky creatures packing.

Onward and upward